*THUD* great. Now you've broken the wheel axle. We'll be here for days just
welcoming. I feel like I'm playing the Oregon Trail. Hey--if you get dysentery
or cholera, don't blame me. You're the one who jumped on.
And that's what he said.
At any rate, welcome to my new home on the web. Facebook became too time-
consuming and I felt very, very naked and not in the good way. Instead of
reducing the amount of time spent on that site (which HAD to have been designed
by "Bewitched" 's Mrs. Kravitz), I went into addict mode and quit cold turkey. I am
sure that the days and nights will be lonely, but rest assured, I shall suffer through.
I'm sure there is a support group for people like me. But alas--the meeting takes
place via Facebook chat. FAIL!
Since the masses become easily confused (i.e. the 2000 election), I feel the need
to clarify how this blog will operate. Use these numbered rules to mentally connect
the dots, just like PeeWee Herman use to. (EEW! Not in the theater like that, you
perv. More like "Connect the dots, la la la la."):
1) Sagittarius Maximus believes strongly in your first amendment rights. He was a
one-time member of the American Civil Liberties Union. He believes that a symbol
of the great USofA cannot be just a flag; a symbol of our country must also be its
citizens' right to burn that flag in protest. However, you do not have an opinion here.
This page is a dictatorship. Think Mussolini. Oh, wait. He was executed. But you get
the idea. I never really liked using Facebook (from here on out referred to as "Bottom-
less Pit") for "status updates". I wanted to rant and rave and not worry about being
cussed out or castrated (okay, that was never a threat). Ouch. Sympathy pains.
2) If you would like to an express an opinion on what you read here, we at Sagittarius
Maximus gladly accept your feedback through the following methods:
2a) move your cursor to the upper right. find the red 'x' at the upper right and press.
2b) move your cursor to 'file' and select 'exit'.
2c) press 'ctrl' 'alt' 'delete' buttons simultaneously. select "start task manager", find the
"applications" tab, select "Explorer" or "Mozilla Firefox" and select "End Task".
Someone will get back to you within the amount of time that the federal government
would most likely take to reply to a question from a man living under a bridge with no
address regarding the number of starfish living in the ocean five miles east of Bismarck,
North Dakota.)
Let me guess: you never knew I was this bitchy? :)
I hereby sincerely pie-crust promise (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=
pie%20crust%20promise) that not all of my posts will be hateful, negative or drag-queen-
esque. They will also be enlightening, positive, inspiring and comical *there is a 20%
up-charge for enlightening and inspiring. See today's Courier-Journal for further details.*
Again, welcome to Sagittarius Maximus. It'll be exciting.
Just not as much as Janet Jackson in a Super Bowl half-time.
