The Gays, The President and AK-47s on Sundays.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PAJNntoRgA

You watched that, right? I'm sorry, but did I miss something? Are
children no longer allowed to "openly celebrate Christmas"?! Governor
Perry, are you telling me that the yearly children's Christmas concerts
have been outlawed? And those gift exchanges-do they get jail time for
doing that?! Will they even be tried as children for such a heinous act?! 
Horrors.

Welcome to yet another pre-nomination, desperate campaign ad from
someone whose recent polling suggests that he needs your Benjamin
Franklins more than your prayerful support. With its lovely fall foilage
and background soothing flute melody, this ad initially leads one to think
that Rick Perry is getting ready to audition for the "Sound of Music." The
soft atmosphere doesn't match his real message: The President is the Anti-
Christ. He hates you, and The Gays and Liberals are to blame for every
single problem you have--every single one!

Oh, those damned Gays. They've been ruining your heterosexual marriages
with their public expressions of commitment for over a decade now (haven't
they??) They've been moving into your fledgling, just-above-Skid-Row-
neighborhoods and raising your property values with their pastel colors,
beautiful lawns, flower beds and--worse--track lighting! And they're doing
all of that while continuing to cut and style your hair, preparing those tiny
bouquets that you buy instead of spending more on the Mrs., and telling you, 
during your visit to Macy's, that if you try to match that tie with that shirt,
they will personally call security. That's not all, though: we can't call out The
Gays without calling out what they do in the bedroom! Folks, these acts have 
penetrated (no pun, I swear) sacred, time-honored Heterosexual pornography
and from our research, it seems that these porn actors and actresses are
attempting to--cover your eyes/ears--MIMIC what The Gays do in the
bedroom! Heterosexuals do not do these things at all, and this mimicry of Gay
Physical Behavior must stop! It is devaluing our currency, ruining our social
fabric and becoming detrimental to birth control manufacturers' profit margins!

Rick Perry says so.

And then there's Obama. Barack Hussein Obama. The nerve of that man for
trying to improve our economy with stimulus packages, long and short-term
job solutions and rebuilding a badly deteriorating infrastructure. What kind of
sleezeball would spend our taxpayer dollars so that a few (just thirty-some
million) people could get health insurance?! And now he's apparently waging a
"war against religion." Well, I guess that explains why we've switched focus
from Iraq and Afghanistan to the Southern Baptist Convention. And it must
be the sole reason why the Christian flag has been stripped from all worship
places and the American flag has been draped over all crosses. To be fair,
though, this "war against religion" really can't be blamed on the President,
folks. Unless a certain centuries-old document has suddenly changed, doesn't
the President still have to obtain Congressional approval for declarations of
war? Perhaps that's why Congress' approval rating is so low. Damned
warmongerers. Congress & Mr. President, leave Sunday School and
Communion ALONE!

Rick Perry says so.

Okay. Now that I have exceeded my daily dose of allotted sarcasm, I'd like
to give Gov. Perry, Newt Gingrich and all of the other potential and not-a-
chance candidates some advice: this stuff is a major turn-off, and not just to
moderate voters who don't factor their religious beliefs when voting; it's also
appears a little sketchy to religious voters of the non-hardcore-right-winged
variety who tend to think on their own.

For starters, Barack Obama has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that in
1962 and 1963, the Supreme Court judged school-sponsored prayers unconstitutional. Unless the future President was arguing court cases at age
two, Barack Obama cannot be blamed for this. And unless I've missed some
headlines, he hasn't issued any Executive Orders banning children from
individually praying that time-honored prayer, "God, I hope I pass this
stupid test..." Many Americans know that the President isn't to blame for
any of that--and that he isn't waging any "religious wars". The other thing
that thinking Americans know is how certain words send out red flags.

When George-"Segregation Now, Segregation Tomorrow, Segregation
Forever"-Wallace ran for President in 1968, he received almost ten million
votes, carrying all of the electoral votes of five states. Very impressive,
considering that Wallace didn't run on either of the standard two-party
tickets. Wallace got all of those votes (all from the South) because he was a
bully and used scare tactics.

Being a bully in 2012 isn't cool, folks. And after years of racial inequality
and discrimination towards minorities, Americans are slowly, finally
starting to pick up on the fact that people who bully and scare usually have
something that they need to prove. As my pal Sean stated, America "is
statistically 76% Christian." So why tell us that you're "not afraid to admit
that I'm a Christian", Governor Perry--and continue with an infactual,
bullying crusade?! Shouldn't you be comfortable with your own religion!?
In a year that finds governing bodies considering Anti-Bullying legislation,
it probably isn't very wise to start picking on others. People who bully tend
to do so because it's their only way to be relevant and popular.

So, back off, Governor Perry and the rest of the "Party of NO". Is our
economy still struggling? Yes. Is the President the most popular rooster in
the barnyard? No. But unless you're ready to have a serious conversation
and solutions for how to fix our problems and unless you've got more
substance than what is demonstrated with these tired, trivial, ages-old
attacks, just stay out of it. Go hug your money. Become a lobbyist. Join a
church if you have a conversion and want to remove yourself from the
dirtiness of politics.

Just beware of machine guns at the altar.

Rick Perry says so.

The Earliest of Early Predictions.

"He'll win," my father stated in the most resigned, frustrated way available. When I tried to argue, he looked at me  with half-disgust and practically sighed, "trust me: he'll win."

If you didn't know my Dad and his Conservative, Republicanesque ideology, you would read his words as a prediction that a Tea Party-loving, Biblebelt-touring, Liberal-despising candidate would soar to victory on Tuesday, November 6, 2012. Yet, Dad wasn't talking about his candidate of choice.

He was referring to his president.

It is just another subject, added to the pile of disagreements, which has grown taller than Sears Tower. (We'd open an observation deck, but can't seem to agree on the hours of operation.) Yet, this disagreement is unusual in a sense. Dad cries that President Obama is made of Teflon and won't lose his job. I mourn that the President is so controversial and disliked that he will not get a second term. Neither of us wants to be correct.

Yes, folks, the 2012 presidential election is coming faster than a virgin male at a Hooters' wet t-shirt contest. Unlike the case of the virgin, however, the end result will not come quickly. With just over thirteen months until the election, let me be the first to tell you: the weeks of verbal assaults will be long, the campaign ads will be many, the debates will be patronizing and none of it will be pretty. By the time we finally select our candidates on that first Tuesday in November, we'll be absolutely worn out--much more than we already are.

I go on record today in this blog, predicting what I believe to be true: Barack Obama will not be re-elected to the presidency. It is not what I want, and it is not what I think is best for our country, but I am realistic enough to sit back, look at the tide objectively to see that the President is about to be yanked from safe shores and cast out to sea. 

Americans are looking for someone, something to blame for the way things are these days. We have always failed at accepting our national responsibility for messes and disasters (see Laws, Jim Crow or Affairs, Middle-Eastern Post-1948.) We don't want to accept the fact that President Obama is not to blame for the economic crisis that arrived at his new desk on January 20, 2009. And while we all hold him and his government to the expectation that things need to turn around, we are a society of instant-gratification which believes that three and a half years is more than enough time to tackle multiple-decades of financial misconduct, thank you very much. So what if he doesn't get along with Congress? So what if the majority in Congress is saying "No" to all of his policies and efforts, just for funzies? He's the President--he should FIX THIS.

So, we'll throw him out. We'll equate Barack Obama to Jimmy Carter, a man with noble, far-reaching plans who ultimately took on too much, alienated everyone and lost his ass on a plate in 1980 to a former actor from California. And just like we did then, we'll listen for a voice belonging to someone who gets stars in his eyes talking about patriotism and the 'American Dream'. We'll look for a man who may not have the sharpest policy-making intellect, but he's funny, down-home and appealing in a masculine way. We'll search for a "man's man"--someone that a regular guy such as, oh, I don't know, "Joe Plumber" could grab a beer with. And that's who we'll put in charge. 

Well, I'm sorry, but one Texas Governor was enough for me.

The American confidence in its government is the lowest that it has ever been. Still, before you decide that President Obama is to blame for your lot in life, please consider the following: we traded Jimmy Carter for Ronald Reagan, a man who tripled the national debt and ignored society's less fortunate. We got tired of the blue-dress floozie and scandals of the Clinton-era and elected a man who pissed off our allies, protected the wealthy from paying higher taxes and continued to increase spending abroad while ignoring dire domestic problems. In other words: is the grass really greener? Are these Congressional Tea Partiers, the ones who got their fame by saying "No", offering anything better than what the current Administration is proposing? Do you really think that the party who ridicules multi-bizillionaire Warren Buffett's call to increase taxes for the wealthiest people in our country is going to be the party that leads us out of a recession?!

As much as I tend to think optimistically, my forecast of the President's loss at the polls is a must for me: it'll be an easier blow to take when it actually happens. The GOP has a large field of recognizable folks these days, ranging from Sarah "Barracuda" Palin to Newt "Not A Reptile, I Swear" Gingrich. These two and other candidates who tend to suffer from Footinmouth Disease (see also Bachmann, Michelle) will find themselves waiting for the President in that same lonely sea. Yet, sooner or later, a frontrunner will emerge. He'll exude confidence, tell us that government is to blame for everything that we've attempted and failed. We'll buy it, we'll drink the Kool-Aid and that expected, cynically-driven cycle will start all over again. More than the troubled economy, more than any argument over the national debt and more than partisan politics: our own lack of patience will be our undoing and will headline President Obama's defeat. While I'll stop short of professing that I've always trusted the President's political integrity, I'll shout from the rooftops that I think he's trying to do a good job and is deserving of the confidence that he is trying to inspire in my country. Unfortunately, the American public won't agree with me. They usually don't, anyway.

Dad, I don't find myself saying this often, but I hope I'm dead wrong--and that you are totally right.

Getting Knocked Up. Or Not.

I have felt surrounded by kids lately. My co-workers want

kids of their own so badly that I'm privy to everything from
their ovulation cycles to the 'onesies' that they find on sale.
One of my dear friends just found out that she is pregnant,
and some friends are in the process of adopting. I've been
seeing more and more kids and hearing more parenting
stories lately, and I'm not sure why.

(If you think that this is the part of the blog where I'm
going to declare that my biological clock is about to
explode and that I want children and that I have always
secretly wanted them, I'm afraid that you have mistaken
this blog for someone elses. My apologies.)

I don't hate children, okay? I don't even dislike most of
them. Yet, pushing thirty--an age where all of the people
in ones life seem to have or want kids (or more of them),
I can't even claim the desire for just one. Judging by
society's reaction, that somehow makes me a horrible
person.

Why? That stigma has always mystified me. I know in
my heart that right now, having children is simply not a
priority. I know that I don't have the finances that I would
want to have when bringing a new life into the World. I also
know that I have limited patience with children of any age
who cannot articulate what they want and/or need. I am
responsible enough to be cognizant of these factors. So
why does it seem that this self-awareness gives me a
socially acceptable ranking just slightly higher than that
of a known serial killer?

Here's the thing: people of like mind who don't want kids
get what I'm saying. Parents dont. A lot of parents see
the joy and reward in child-rearing and they think that
everyone should want the same. If you don't, you're just
odd and it makes you appear to have some sort of
deficiency in their eyes (I said some parents feel this
way--not all.) Those parents apparently feel that they
have something to prove (I've never understood that,
either.)

My parents were ages 42 and 39 when I was born. My
only brother is nearly ten years my senior. My youngest
cousin is fifteen years older than me. Needless to say,
I didn't have a lot of exposure to babies, toddlers and the
like. Although I had a few friends my own age, it was
noticeable to others that I preferred the company of older
women who were usually married. (It would sound so
scandalous if it weren't for the fact that I hadn't even hit
puberty yet and that most of these women quietly knew
that I wasn't...well...straight.) I wish they had clued me in.

But I digress...

The point is that my lack of exposure to smaller kiddos
did not prepare me to want any of my own. That is no
one's fault--because me not wanting children is not wrong.
Ask my loving, patient partner: I can be a selfish jerk. I
can be possessive of my time and, like most of us, I have
a tendency to be self-absorbed. But I know these things
about myself. And I think that potential parents must raise
themselves by strengthening their gifts and working to
minimalize their weaknesses--before they try their hand at
raising someone else.

I wonder how many infants would avoid being placed on
doorsteps (or worse, in dumpsters) if their parents had
taken the time to think about these things? Would welfare
reform have been such a hot topic had there been more
self-analyzation? Would the U.S. divorce rate be lower if
more couples fully considered their personal levels of
responsibility and commitment?

For now, I am quite content with my sixteen lb. Cat.
I feed him, I clean up his numbers one and two, calm
him when he cries (though not with a pacifier--I'd lose
my hand), and I both cuddle and play with him. Should
pets be considered children? No. But they're decent
training for those who desire responsibility of a mostly-
helpless being who depends on you for food, shelter
and support.

Like all other choices I have made, this one also comes
with a disclaimer: it is subject to change. I am twenty-
nine. At thirty-nine, after discovering more about myself
and figuring out more of my life, my comments could be
altogether different. All I know is this: when considering
becoming a parent, it isn't all about you. In fact, your
wants and desires are a miniscule fraction in this
equation. It isn't about how much fun you'd have. It isn't
about you leaving a legacy. It certainly isn't about
'keeping up' with your friends or the neighbors next door.
It's about what is best for the child--and I refuse to take
that lightly.

Day #s 6 & 7: Surf Ballroom, Field of Dreams, Conclusion

Well, I'm home! I pulled into our driveway at exactly 1am this morning. The trip was
pretty much everything that I wanted it to be, and I enjoyed myself immensely. You'll
have to forgive me for not uploading pics/blogging on the road; I found out some news
from home that put me in a funk towards the end of the journey.

After getting a speeding ticket in north-central Iowa (DAMN IT!), I made my way to the
Buddy Holly crash site, just north of Clear Lake. It's one of those places that you're
not going to find accidentally; I went down a couple of gravel roads to get to the site.
But you know where to start walking along the fence row when you see a giant metal
pair of Buddy's infamous glasses. I reached the site within half a mile. The small,
metal memorial has the names of the fated musician (Holly, the Big Bopper and Richie
Valens), and "the day the music died", February 3, 1959. It also features titles of some
of their hits.

Their final concert venue, The Surf Ballroom, is just five miles south. The Surf has been
preserved to look much as it did in the 40s and 50s, but still holds concerts for modern
groups. I was impressed with the numerous pictures of famous musicians who have
performed there; it seemed rather glitzy to be out in the middle of Iowa. I'd highly
recommend a stop there if you're driving on I-35.

When planning for this trip, I noticed that my map had a marker for the "Little Brown
Church in the Vale" about fifty miles east of Clear Lake. Curious, I stopped and took
some pictures and was interested to discover that this scenic, country church was the
inspiration for an old gospel hymn.

My final stop for Day Six was at the "Field of Dreams" movie site, near Dyersville, Iowa.
This is a real treasure, and if you're a fan of the movie (or of baseball), it is worth the
detour. The house, ball field, bleachers and farm look almost exactly as it did when the
movie was filmed in 1988. There is no admission and baseballs are provided, if you
wanted to bring your glove and play on the field. I was able to chat a bit with the owner
of the Field, an affable guy who was actually born in the house. He told me that he and
his family enjoyed doing it, even though he neglected to mention what the website said
(it's for sale.) I had a nice time walking around and couldn't resist asking one of the
workers, "Is this Heaven?!" He kinda chuckled but didn't say "No, it's Iowa!"--I think he'd
heard that one before...

Day Seven started with a lot of driving, but I was able to enjoy a visit at the Herbert
Hoover Presidential Library and Museum in West Branch, Iowa. The museum had a
great collection and emphasized Hoover's humanitarian efforts during both World Wars,
as opposed to his unfortunate presidency. His birthplace and gravesite are both there,
and the Park Service was gearing up for an upcoming celebration of his birthday.

My last stop was at Lagomarcino's, a Moline, Illinois confectionery and home of the only
soda fountain that I have ever been to. This place is like a walk back in time; I enjoyed a
delicious (but expensive) Black Raspberry Soda Float. Everything is homemade here;
the chocolates looked heavenly and the shop has been profiled in several magazines
(I discovered them in the book, Roadfood.)

The remaining drive through Illinois and Indiana was largely uneventful. The last fifty
miles of any trip are always the worst, and I found myself getting sleepy but persevered.
I had, for the most part, an excellent trip.

TOTAL STATES TRAVELED: 8 (KY, IN, IL, WI, MN, ND, SD, IA)
TOTAL MILES TRAVELED: est. 2,400
TOTAL TRIP EXPENSE: $819.46
TOTAL TRIP DURATION: 7 days, 7 nights
TOTAL AVERAGE MPG: 28.2
TOTAL STATES VISITED TO DATE: 46

Day #4 & 5: North Dakota, South Dakota, Ocheyedan, Iowa

I'm fine, I'm fine...don't call 911 or the North Dakota State Patrol--I haven't
died. But I did finally get some much-deserved sleep and am writing this
morning from the home of my longtime friend Robin in Ocheyedan, Iowa
(pop. 500). My apologies for the delay; I was just too worn out last night,
after driving no fewer than 530 miles!

Yesterday morning started out in North Dakota, where I spent the night at
the Mayville Hometown Inn (a very clean and friendly establishment.) I
enjoyed a pizza in this small college town prior to heading to my room the
night before, courtesy of the Pizza Shop. If you ever find yourself in Mayville,
(what? you haven't already been?!), I highly recommend my lodgings and
the Pizza Shop. Tell Katie I sent you--she's the 6-foot Nordic-looking girl
who works there and has lived in "Dekotaaa" her whole life.

My first stop was the KVLY-TV antenna, just east of Blanchard. That
sounds like a lame thing to visit, but it is actually the second tallest
structure in the World, at 2,063 feet. North Dakota's flatness makes it all
the more impressive; when I first saw the thing, my GPS revealed that I
was thirteen miles from the site. Good times.

Afterwards, I visited the November-33 and Oscar-Zero Missile Sites (now
owned by the North Dakota State Historical Society.) I've been to more
historic sites than I can count, but nuclear missile historic properties were
a first for me. Oscar Zero, the launch center, was very impressive. I took
an elevator fifty feet down into the bunker where select Air Force officers
were once on shift 24-7 waiting for word from the President to launch
missiles. I left the place awed and kinda sad, actually, especially hearing
from my all-of-sixteen-but-well-informed tour guide that there were still
150 active missiles in North Dakota.

Leaving the site, I took several picturesque county and state roads, many
with beautiful grassland, to get to southern North Dakota. There, I got my
picture taken with the World's Largest Catfish in Wahpeton. (Hey, a place
has to be known for something.)

The haul down through South Dakota on I-29 was long and tedious, and I
was ready for a break when I got to the Devil's Gulch Park in Garretson.
According to legend, Jesse James was cornered following a robbery and
somehow convinced his horse to jump across an 18-foot ravine here,
enabling him to get away. There is bridge now, and with the pinkish-colored
rocks and deep rivers, this is a beautiful sight. Right down from Devil's
Gulch is Split Rock Park, featuring an awesome waterfall.

Today involves a lot of resting and visiting with Robin. Tomorrow, I'll be on
the road again, "come sun up." *Cue old western theme.*



TOMORROW: Surf Ballroom, Northeast Iowa, Field of Dreams


P.S.-My Honda CR-V scored some victories yesterday: she celebrated
100k miles around Brookings, South Dakota and also gave me 29.8 mpg,
her best gas mileage to date.

Day #3: Twin Cities, Western Minnesota, Fargo

Greetings from Fargo (yes, we're more than just the movie), North Dakota.
It has been a nice day of sightseeing and driving. I am the only one here at
Babb's Coffee Shop downtown, and I'm just fine with that.

Woke up to a very rainy Minneapolis. In fact, everything from overcast skies
to annoying sprinkles and near-torrential downpours have plagued my travels
today. I'm not complaining though; it was the first day that I wasn't getting
a farmer's tan (burn, actually). When the rain was in intermission, I had some
very nice drives.

I navigated through the late rush-hour of Minneapolis to the Sculpture Garden.
There, I saw the famous super-sized "Spoon and Cherry", and took pics of
other interesting outdoor art. Trying to find parking downtown was a chore,
but I eventually succeeded and snapped a photo of the statue of Mary Tyler
Moore throwing her hat in the air. I kept singing the theme song in my head,
"Who can turn the World on with her smile?..."

It wasn't long before I was in the neighboring city of St. Paul, where I arrived
in time to join a tour of the Minnesota State Capitol. This is an impressive
building, though it is unfortunately falling apart. Being able to view the city
and seeing up-close the golden horse/chariot statue on top of the Capitol
was totally worth the informative tour.

Leaving the Twin Cities, I meandered up I-94, north to US-10, to the
picturesque town of Little Falls, boyhood home of aviator Charles Lindbergh.
A problem with traveling on a Monday is that a lot of smaller operations can't
stay open five-seven days a week, so they close one day during the week
and yes--this place was closed. I took some pics and went on my way.

The 130+ miles from Little Falls to Fargo was enjoyable. I took Minnesota
State Route 108, a beautiful road connecting US-10 to I-94. Listen: they
call Minnesota the "Land of 10,000 Lakes" for a reason, folks. I was on
that stretch for a good thirty miles and I can easily attest to seeing at
least two dozen lakes. I'm not kidding. Also found some great sunflower
fields and other good photo opportunities.

Fargo is actually kinda nice. It's not large at all, but the small downtown
is charming and the city has invested well in its main strip. There are
several shops and newer developments and concentrated efforts at
beautification. Unfortunately, there's just nothing here.

Okay. I am getting hungry and sleepy, and since I don't know where I'm
staying, it's time to work on that. Hope this finds you well. :)


TOMORROW: North Dakota, South Dakota, Ocheyedan

Day #2: Western Wisconsin, Great River Road, Minneapolis

WHEW! What a day. I am worn out, but here goes....

I got an early start on the day and ended up at The House on the Rock in
Spring Green, Wisconsin, by 9:30. Although I could have taken the tour of
the entire house, it was lengthy and full of collections that I originally didn't
think I wanted to see. But after touring one section, I definitely want to go
back someday. You have never seen anything like the House on the Rock.
Imagine a building that never had a blueprint and was added on to for over
forty years, at the whim of a wealthy, eccentric owner. Now imagine that
same structure with thousands of stained glass lamps, musical instruments
playing automatically, windows with views blocked by stenciled wood
carvings and ceilings and floors which are given their shape--by the natural
rock. This place is a must-see. Of course, I don't have enough pictures to
verify its magnificence, as my battery chose to die during the tour. I was
quietly livid--especially when I got out to my car and saw that the camera
bag had four extras in it. Oh well...

I continued up into the "hill country" of western Wisconsin and enjoyed
passing through towns such as Romance and Gotham. Within a couple
of hours, I was on the Great River Road heading to La Crosse.

The wide Mississippi and the surrounding hills and trees of Wisconsin
and Minnesota make for a pleasant drive. The Great River Road was
probably the only decently-paved stretch of pavement in the entire
Badger State. When I arrived in La Crosse, I proceeded to City Brewery,
with its alleged "World's Largest Six-Pack" on display. After driving along
the river in Minnesota, I crossed a bridge to get to Fountain City, home
of "Rock in the House" (see Facebook pics.) It was definitely not your
ordinary tourist attraction. The remainder of the drive to Minneapolis was
pleasant (although very hot.)

When I arrived, I went to Mall of America. It didn't take me long to get
tired of this insane tribute to capitalism at its worst; that place is large
enough to have three zip codes. I am probably the only person to go
and spend a) less than two hours shopping and b) no money. Still, I can
see what allures folks. There are a LOT of stores.

I ended the day with a visit to Minnehaha Falls and had a yummy dinner
at the funky Oscar Wilde Cafe in the University district of Minneapolis.
I am at a very decent La Quinta Inn in the suburbs and ready for some
sleep!

TOMORROW: Twin Cities, Little Falls, North Dakota

Day #1: Racine, Milwaukee, Madison & Mineral Point, WI

After driving across the state of Wisconsin, I can say this much: its appeal
isn't just cheese--it has whey more than that.

Okay, no more dairy puns, sorry..

My day started around 9am and after getting a surprisingly large continental
breakfast at my motel, I set off to find the yummy Racine pastry known as
the 'kringle'. My sample at the highly-recommended O&H Danish Bakery
was delectable, but I opted for an equally appealing (and much cheaper)
tart danish. After Racine, I made the 30-mile drive to Milwaukee.

For some reason, I never got a good mental image whenever I heard the city
mentioned. Maybe it's because Jeffrey Dahmer lived there, I dunno. Anyway,
what a neat town. After taking a picture of the Milwaukee Art Museum with its
structural wings that close at night and open during the day (I'm not making
this up, people), I took a walk around the Historic Third Ward. Many cities
could benefit to learn from Milwaukee's preservation of its older buildings--
what a gem. Afterwards, I took a nice stroll down the Riverwalk and got my
picture taken with "The Fonz" of Happy Days fame! (Ok, it was just his
likeness in bronze.) I later nearly caused an accident on the highway when
I swerved to get off of the exit taking me to the Miller brewing plant. I'm not
a huge fan of the stuff but Milwaukee certainly is, so I snapped some photos
and took off. Outside of the city, I stopped at Kopp's Frozen Custard and
had one of the messiest meals of my life (though not a bad meal at all.)
Note: Custard melts MUCH faster than ice cream, so order it in a cup (NOT
a waffle cone), and under no circumstances should you take it out to your
car on a 90 degree day--the custard wont wait for you to turn on the air
(which doesn't really help, either.)

Anyway, Madison was next and I was impressed with this clean, water-
abundant town, full of bicycle lanes, green-friendly initiatives and other
progressive measures. I visited Monona Terrace, the Frank Lloyd Wright-
designed convention center, which had some great views of the two lakes
surrounding Madison and the Wisconsin State Capitol. The Capitol is a
beautiful structure, and I really haven't seen another one quite like it. I took
some great photos from the observation deck. The quirkiness of State
Street didn't hold me for long, as I had walked a lot in the heat already and
was getting cranky from not hydrating myself properly. Had a swell visit.

I ended up in Mineral Point, Wisconsin tonight--and I'm lucky that I did;
the town is one of Wisconsin's oldest, and has a fantastic historic/arts
district. I went to a restaurant called Brewery Creek and had a good meal,
followed by a walk around "Shake Rag Alley" which is a school for arts
and crafts in a beautiful setting. Ended the evening with a much-needed
soak in the motel jacuzzi. Missing my Guy, but having a good time. Hope
you're enjoying your weekend; you'd be a curd not to.

Okay, I'm done, I swear...


TOMORROW: Western WI, Great River Road, Minneapolis, MN

Intro: The Great American Plains Journey of 2011

road trip (n): a journey via automobile, sometimes unplanned

or impromptu... --www.dictionary.com

Well, I am on the road again. The road trip gods started calling me months
ago. Unfortunately, their calls went straight to voice mail, as I hadn't had the
opportunity to save funds or get a clear picture on where exactly I wanted to
go. And then it hit me: I have some states that I need to get out of the way.

Greetings from an average motel in Racine, Wisconsin! What better place

is there to spend your summer vacation than Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa
and North and South Dakota?! (Don't let that thin veil of sarcasm fool you;
I'm actually quite excited!) While those three states may not be as exotic
as Florida, California or Hawaii, I have done my homework enough to find
that my "Plains States" really aren't so 'plain', after all. Is the largest mall
in the country located in California? Nope. Does Florida have a former
underground nuclear missile launcher as a state historic site? Doubtful.
Can you tour the "Field of Dreams" movie site in Hawaii? Not a chance.

The ride up was a little hectic due to congestion between Louisville and
Indianapolis. After Indy, however, it was actually kinda nice. The
temperature finally dropped to the point where I felt like I wouldn't be
risking heat stroke to open my windows and sunroof. The congestion
mostly disappeared. Chicago was its usual crazy pace, but I made it
through just fine (without using any of its toll roads, thank you but no
thank you!) Gas prices dropped 24 cents from $3.97 north of Chicago to
$3.73, once I had crossed into Wisconsin. I surprisingly (and stubbornly)
held out for it, too: between my bladder and low fuel, I wasn't sure what
was going to give out first--my Honda or myself.


TOMORROW: Milwaukee, Madison, Western Wisconsin (?)

U.S. Financial Insomnia

It is 12:30am.

In this hour, in the wee beginning of a random Tuesday, my Partner is sound asleep
and I should be right there with him. Not me, unfortunately. Being the civic-minded,
nerdy, political junkie that I am, has me seriously concerned over the looming United
States debt crisis. I am a 29-year old with a stable job, without a mortgage of my own,
holding down some credit card debt--and here I am worrying about the teens of trillions
of dollars that my government (and in effect, me) owes everybody else. At 12:34am.

The Secretary of the Treasury must take Ambien.

Where to start my rant about this mess? I find it appropriate to do what everyone else
does in times of crisis: it's time to find someone to blame. It seems like most people
are blaming Congress (in other news, the sky is blue.) For those who aren't blaming
Congress, they choose to fault President Obama (in other news, the Pope is Catholic.)
Well, I guess I will have to pick between those two monsters...wait, though. I think I
have found a different, destructive monster. And I'm sorry to point the finger, but I blame...

You (and Me.)

We got greedy, folks. We took on more than we could handle. We bought $200k houses
when we only had enough income to afford the $100k range. We spent away, thinking
that we could pay our debts sooner or later. Maybe those student loans would pay
themselves off with a high-paying job. Maybe that promotion would come. Perhaps the
stocks would get back to the way they were in the '90s, and maybe--just maybe--the
real estate market would start booming again. But sooner became later, and the money
never showed. And here we are. Yes, we. That includes those of you who want to get
"high and mighty" with me for saying such a thing, when you're one of those people
who doesn't have any credit card debt or owes anything. If you've exercised your right
to vote to send the same pork-barreling idiots to Congress who helped get us further
down the drain: you are accountable as well.

Now that I've lost my entire audience, I can safely say that I did what we Americans
have become famous for doing: blaming someone else. It is far easier to criticize and
blame than to offer solutions.

I have been researching this for weeks, people. And I can safely say that I cannot form
a decent solution because a) I agree with many different parts of existing solutions and
b) even after weeks of studying the problems, I, like so many other Americans, don't
quite get it. I 'get' that we're in debt. I 'get' the debt limit. I 'get' that revenue is good for
the bankrolls and that defaulting is bad. But the budget? Where and how much to cut?
Estimating how much we'll have next year? Forget it.

Here, however is what I know: we must address this problem--and we must address it
now. We must not allow politicization of such a sensitive issue bring down the financial
stability of our country--to keep our president from being reelected, or to make the GOP
look bad. I fear that this is going to happen. I fear that next week, we will default on our
obligations and that all sorts of problems will ensue. I'm not going to join the hyperactive
few who are claiming U.S. financial Armageddon, but we will have some major problems.

In a time where people are shouting and being nasty over an issue which hits a lot closer
to home than they want to admit, we must also remember to send strength, hopes for a
solution/compromise and/or prayers to those who are tackling this grave issue. And in
working to eliminate the national debt and overspending which has surrounded us so
harshly, we must also remember to work to eliminate these things--in ourselves.

I am going to bed now in the hopes that my country and I will wake up in the morning,
not to bacon and eggs (although it would be nice.)

I hope we awaken to a solution.

Analyzing POTUS: G.H.W. Bush - Obama & Conclusion

George H.W. Bush (1989-1993)
It may come as a surprise, but George Bush "Sr." wasn't as
conservative as one might think. He took on AIDS funding,
created the Americans with Disabilities Act and also
reauthorized Nixon's Clean Air Act. It was his handling of
the U.S. finances which doomed his presidency. "It's the
economy, stupid" was a saying--however mean--that
summed up that Bush just didn't 'get it'. Bush's command
of the Gulf War was masterful, but at home, he appeared
weak and indecisive. His fateful remark "read my lips: no
new taxes" demonstrated this--and led to his defeat in '92.
Grade: C+ (out of tune with America=out of a job.)

William J. Clinton (1993-2001)
A skilled politician, Bill Clinton's championing of FMLA was
awesome. His attempt at health care reform was noble, as
was passage of the Earned Income Tax Credit. Clinton,
however, made decisions for the U.S. that would ultimately
backfire, such as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and his support of
NAFTA. These moves lacked integrity. While I also fault
Clinton for his improprieties, that I do not fault his
Administration for the scandals and impeachment attempt
(all of which he was exonerated from.) Clinton promoted
peace-building and humanitarian efforts. With the exception
of Middle-Eastern conflicts, the U.S. had a good relationship
with the World and a positive reputation during his term.
Grade: B- (lacked foresight, but weathered many storms.)

George W. Bush (2001-2009)
"Dubya" faced an overwhelming challenge within his first few
months in office: 9/11. And while it is difficult for me to say
this, here goes: I give the guy credit for confronting it, and I
felt better about the situation because he was in office. But
my feelings quickly ended. Leading America on an expensive,
misleading roller coaster ride, Bush was responsible for
dismantling years of diplomatic relationships. His tax cuts
were counter-productive to the economy and did little to
prevent the largest recession since the Great Depression.
His "No Child Left Behind" saw poor results, the federal
response to Hurricane Katrina was immoral and Bush
outright assailed women's rights and those of LGBT citizens.
He left office just as he entered it--with too much national
division, widespread bitterness and unbelievable arrogance.
Grade: D (The U.S. went backwards with this man.)

Barack Obama (2009- )
One of the most liberal presidents following one of the most
conservative, Obama has spent the last two years trying to
move the nation forward while gripping with a poor economy
that he inherited. His hate crime legislation, repeal of "Don't
Ask, Don't Tell" and health care reform initiative demonstrated
Obama's recognition of the disenfranchisement of minorities.
The politicization of his efforts have hurt him, and the GM
bailout was a mistake. I give the President kudos for his
efforts with the Stimulus and Job Creation Bill of '10. The
argument of further cuts and the effectiveness of Obama's
role in this has yet to be seen. The operation to kill Osama
bin Laden challenged Obama's once-questioned foreign-
conflict capabilities. Only time will tell.
Grade: I (Incomplete)


--CONCLUSION--
After all that you have read in this series, it is my hope that
you have noticed one consistent theme: although a few
POTUS' came close, no Commander-in-Chief received an
"F" grade. That is because, at the end of the day, Republican
or Democrat, they have all tried to do what they believed was
right for the country. We can spend years debating what went
well and what went awry. But these forty-plus leaders must
have every critic's acknowledgment that they assumed the
office, enjoyed some triumphs and had more than their share
of trying times. What George W. has in common with the
first George W. is simple: a willingness to serve and the
perseverance of leadership . We should always recognize
that just like our troops, these men--all of them--have
risked their lives and happiness for the American people.

Analyzing POTUS: Hoover - Reagan

Herbert Hoover (1929-1933)

This man was the poster child for the saying, "wrong place at
the wrong time." Contrary to popular opinion, Hoover did not
create the Great Depression. Unfortunately, though, the guy
did little to stop it and that's how he lost his reelection bid.
Oddly enough, Hoover was no stranger to catostrophic events,
having run the U.S. Food Administration and American Relief
Administration during WWI. His domestic policies in the
months preceeding the Depression were noteworthy (including
the building of the Boulder Dam--later renamed Hoover.) But
his inability to stop the greatest U.S. economic disaster
consumed his presidency.
Grade: D+ (Ran out of steam, perhaps?)

Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933-1945)
With the possible exception of the unprecedented George
Washington, no other president had the magnitude of FDR's
challenges. And he goes down in history books (and this
review) as one the greats, because he handled them with
success. To put it bluntly, the country wouldn't have survived
without the "New Deal". From the WPA to the CCC, the guy
put America back to work when 25% of its citizens were
without jobs. Although unemployment remained high,
Roosevelt's winning attitude and energy saw the U.S. through
the Depression. That same boundless energy helped to
create strategy that won WWII. Roosevelt was a crafty
politician, and his Supreme Court packing was one of few low
moments in an otherwise remarkable, successful presidency.
Grade: A+ (More like him, please.)

Harry Truman (1945-1953)
What can one say about a man who left the presidency with
one of the lowest popularity ratings ever (22%) and one who
won reelection despite widespread predictions (and hopes)
that he would lose? I say he's near-awesome. Truman didn't
give a damn about polls. He stuck to his guns on everything
from the Atomic Bomb decision to the firing of the popular
Gen. MacArthur. His National Security Act of '47 was a
needed boost to U.S. defenses; the Marshall Plan and
Truman Doctrines were successful foreign policies. His U.S.
recognition of the state of Israel was a mistake, and the
Korean War was a mess for his Administration. Part of the
reason for Truman's unpopularity was his far-reaching (for the
times) civil rights platform, which split his own party.
Grade: A- (They said, "Give 'em hell, Harry!" He did.)

Dwight Eisenhower (1953-1961)
Everyone allegedly "liked Ike". And why wouldn't they? The
popular former WWII general was president at a time of great
prosperity. Eisenhower wasn't exactly like most other former
military who achieved the presidency; his accomplishments
are many. Establishing the Department of Health, Education
& Welfare was a highlight, as was the creation of the Interstate
Highway System. Eisenhower's Civil Rights Acts were noble,
if not short-sighted. Overall, "Ike" was a right fit for a post-war
nation, prior to the tumultuous 1960s.
Grade: B+ (See? I like some ex-military POTUS' :) )

John F. Kennedy (1961-1963)
I'm sorry--this is very un-liberal of me, but Kennedy was mostly
hype. Don't get me wrong--he did some great things, like
establishing the Peace Corps and avoiding nuclear war in the
Cuban Missile Crisis. But the Bay of Pigs was a fiasco and
even though Eisenhower began involvement in Vietnam, it was
Kennedy who really got it going. Although JFK gave support to
a space program, it was merely lip service. His work on civil
rights was more political posturing that genuine leadership, but
he did create what would become the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
I refuse to call Kennedy 'great', but he was certainly a needed
progressive voice in a time of massive change.
Grade: C+ (Mixed both idealism and realism.)

Lyndon B. Johnson (1963-1969)
LBJ was a complex individual. He was a cowboy from the hills
of Texas and should've been more conservative by those
characteristics alone. But from the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to
Medicare, the War on Poverty to the Gun Control Act of 1968,
Johnson was a progressive domestic visionary. Unfortunately,
Vietnam and Johnson's poor response to urban unrest were
his downfalls. When he stubbornly insisted on maintaining
troop levels (and, ultimately, deaths) in Vietnam, his popularity
plummeted, and his positive programs went along with it. Had
LBJ not decided against running for reelection in 1968, he
would have certainly been defeated.
Grade: C- (Masterful politician, over-zealous leader.)

Richard M. Nixon (1969-1974)
To start with the positive, Richard Nixon did what LBJ couldn't
(or wouldn't) do, by ending U.S. involvement in Vietnam. Nixon's
environmental policies were innovative and his progressive works
in education and workplace matters (Title IX and the EEO) were
commendable. Nixon's historic China visit and relations with the
Soviet Union were probably his biggest successes. Of course,
Watergate was Nixon's downfall, and his attempts to cover up
the scandal would alone make both existing and subsequent
generations of Americans jaded in their view of the government.
Had he not put the nation through Watergate, Nixon, an actual
liberal, would've been higher in my reviews.
Grade: C (He would've preferred dictatorship.)

Gerald Ford (1974-1977)
New president Gerald Ford made a decision early in his
Administration to pardon Nixon. Although it effectively ended
Ford's political career, the Nixon pardon was a good call.
Nixon's prosecution would've gone on for years and the nation
needed to heal. The economy was rough during Ford's term,
and his initial refusal to bail out NYC helped dim his chances
for election in his own right. Middle Eastern problems hassled
Ford and to me, his leadership wasn't effective, despite his
good attempts. Ford's honesty, however, was impeccable.
Grade: C (Accidental VP & Prez--but rose to the challenge)

Jimmy Carter (1977-1981)
What a mess. Carter was the Woodrow Wilson of his day,
infusing his term in office with a messiah-like rule that wasn't
a proper reflection of how the people felt about him (he only
won the '76 election by 2%.) From his well-known horrific
relationship with Congress to the Energy crisis, a wicked
economy and the Iran hostage situation that dominated the
last part of his presidency, Jimmy Carter was in over his head.
His greatest accomplishment as president? The Camp David
Accords, a testimony to his passion for world peace. That
passion made him a great man--outside of his presidency.
Grade: D+ (Greatness comes from weakness.)

Ronald Reagan (1981-1989)
First of all, "Reaganomics" were a joke. They didn't stop
economic downward spirals during Reagan's term (although
fairly, inflation was reduced during his presidency.) Reagan's
far-reaching economic cuts hurt low-income families. His
attack on Libya and Soviet Union intervention weren't
necessary, but he was a strong advocate for the necessary
end of the Cold War. The Iran-Contra affair showcased
Reagan's lack of oversight in his own Administration. His
unwillingness to fight against the AIDS epidemic was
reprehensible. Reagan's longest-lasting achievement is
that he was a voice of optimism and hope for America at a
time of cynicism and 'malaise'.
Grade: C- (Actors make performances, not policies.)


NEXT: Analyzing POTUS: G. Bush - Obama/Conclusion

Analyzing POTUS: Arthur - Coolidge

Chester Arthur (1881-1885)
Arthur was a bit confusing. One on hand, he was the dictionary definition
of 'political operative' and had a reputation as a party hack. On the other,
he had a significant hand in the passage of civil service reform and went
against his own party leaders to achieve this. Arthur's foreign policy was
largely decent, and the Navy thrived under his leadership. The Chinese
Exclusion Act, which denied Chinese-Americans citizenship, was Arthur's
largest mistake. I get the impression that Arthur, whose tendency to live
luxuriously and whose reputation was less saintly than his reform actions
suggest, didn't fool the public. He was denied nomination to serve as
president in his own right.
Grade: C (not a total tool)

Grover Cleveland (1885-1889) (1893-1897)
Some people are gluttons for punishment and Cleveland sure was. After
losing reelection in 1888, he came back in 1892--only to have a more
difficult four years than the first go-round. Not a fan of bailing out industry
and especially stubborn with a Republican Congress, Cleveland used his
veto power often. His argument against high tariffs displayed a populist,
"people's president" attitude. He extended the Chinese Exclusion Act (fail)
but championed legislation to help Native Americans with individual, non-
tribal land-holdings (sweet). He didn't lose to Harrison by much. Returning
in 1893, Cleveland inherited an economic downturn from which his
Administration never really recovered. Attempted annexation of Hawaii was
a near-fiasco on Cleveland's part. For the most part, Cleveland was a strong,
pro-active leader. Not the greatest, but certainly good enough to have a city
in Ohio named after him. (Okay, it wasn't...)
Grade: B- ("Grover the Good", they said. Okay.)

Benjamin Harrison (1889-1893)
Ben Harrison was kinda grouchy and had a reputation for being a 'human
iceberg'. He was also our last bearded president. Perhaps clean-shaven/
mustached POTUS' are happier. Who knows? ANYWAY, Harrison approved
the Sherman Antitrust Act, which limited the power of monopolies (score!)
but had a tendency to stay on the fence on several political issues. His
foreign affairs seemed a bit awkward and his compromises on the looming
tariff issue were only mildly helpful to the problem. I can see why he would've
been defeated by the man he defeated.
Grade: C (Indiana's only President--and he knew how to spell 'potato'.)

William McKinley (1897-1901)
Although monopoly power continued under McKinley, the guy finally
addressed issues that plagued his recent predecessors. Civil service reform
was a focal point of McKinley's, with thousands of employee reclassification.
The Silver/Gold argument was settled by 1900's Gold Standard Act and this
brought a sense of prosperity back to the economy. McKinley's presidency
became consumed by the ridiculous Spanish-American War, which was little
more than a feast for sensational journalism. His handling of it and the
annexation of Hawaii was mediocre at best. Although this has no bearing, he
was probably one of the nicest, most honest men to ever occupy the office.
Grade: B- (better with domestic matters)

Theodore Roosevelt (1901-1909)
A lot can be said about "Teddy"--he was egotistical, short-fused and stubborn.
But he was also bold, decisive and forward-thinking. He is one of my favorites.
Monopoly power practically stopped under TR. He wouldn't put up with
corruption; not in his cabinet, not in his government--nowhere. I give Roosevelt
credit for: 1) creating what would later become the FDA 2) creation of the
Panama Canal 3) his championing of U.S.' beautiful lands; the guy created
multiple national parks and the U.S. Forest Service and 4) the growth of the
U.S. Navy (of which he had been an Assistant Secretary.) Roosevelt presided
over a period of growth in America. Unlike other presidents who sat idly by
and merely allowed the prosperity, Roosevelt fought for it.

Grade: A+ (Able + unafraid + optimistic=a good presidency.)

William H. Taft (1909-1913)
Poor, portly Taft never really wanted the job. The native Buckeye just wanted
to be left alone as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. He would have to
endure four mostly unhappy years as Prez and eight years after that before
he finally got his dream job. Simply, Taft lacked the charisma and political
saavy of his loud and popular predecessor. His efforts at World peace-making
were noble, but problems with Central America nagged him and the guy
ultimately made enemies out of his friends in the Republican Party. The
passage of a federal income tax during his term probably did little to help his
popularity. His reelection bid sabotaged by the man who made his presidency
possible, his later achievements indicate that he was a better Chief Justice
than President.
Grade: C+ (Lacked TR's style but knew his stuff.)

Woodrow Wilson (1913-1921)
Wilson is a mixed bag for me; he's the type of guy that you'd want to slug,
due to his self-righteousness, but some of his accomplishments were noble.
He stepped up the battle on monopolies by establishing the Federal Trade
Commission and Clayton Anti-Trust Act and get kudos for those. Although he
pledged to keep the U.S. out of World War I in his reelection, Wilson was
successful in getting Congress to pass a declaration of war just months later.
His involvements in foreign affairs made him appear like a messiah of sorts; it
was practically a spiritual mission for this deeply spiritual president--and his
shit wouldn't fly today. His League of Nations creation was a hit in my eyes;
his historically hidden views on racial integration, sickening.
Grade: C (I was never as impressed with Wilson as he apparently was.)

Warren Harding (1921-1923)
Friendly and affable, Harding was the type of guy that anyone would like.
Unfortunately, those qualities don't always help a president. Giving his
cronies high-level cabinet positions, these appointments would later backfire.
Badly. Still, Harding presided over a strengthening post-war economy. He
was sensitive to the movements of labor and women's rights, and also
improved America's transportation system. But in-house scandals doomed
the Harding Presidency. From government contract kickbacks and stealing
funding for WWI veterans to a lack in oversight and Harding's own problems
with mistresses and an illegitimate child, Harding was in way over his head.
His greatest achievement was the creation of the Veterans' Administration.
He died from stroke just as the public was learning about his lack of control
in his own government.
Grade: D- (The critics were right.)

Calvin Coolidge (1923-1929)
Presidents cannot be solely blamed for economic prosperity and disaster.
But I think that Coolidge's idealistic war against business regulation helped
the Great Depression to materialize just months after he left office. Famous
for his saying, "The business of America is business.", Coolidge didn't dabble
much in economic affairs (or foreign ones, for that matter), preferring to let the
economy prosper and staying out of World issues. Unfortunately, I think that
this attitude allowed for problems to fester. I give him credit for the Indian
Citizenship Act and also for the fact that he denounced the Ku Klux Klan so
strongly that it lost much of its influence. Overall, though, Coolidge could've
been a more pro-active leader.
Grade: C- (Keeping silent is often beneficial, but not all of the time.)

NEXT: Analyzing POTUS: Hoover - Reagan